Non-Stop
When did Liam Neeson become an action hero? He’s past 60, and he’s grizzled, but he’s nobody’s idea of the strong, strapping guy who is going to save everyone. (Oh, right, Schindler’s List). In this scenario, Neeson is a Federal Air Marshall on a transatlantic flight when he gets a text message on his secure phone telling him that someone is going to be killed every 20 minutes unless they get a bazillion dollars. Turns out it’s even worse than everyone thought and the plane is being hijacked by super bad guys and it’s up to Neeson and his lone gun to save everyone. Also slumming it: Julianne Moore and Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey).
Perfect For: Not anyone about to get on a plane.
What the Critics Say: A dud. The Hollywood Reporter: “A jerry-rigged terror-on-a-plane thriller with a premise so far-fetched as to create a degree of suspense over how the writers will wriggle out of the knot of their own making.”
Our Take: Nope.
Son of God
Well, it was only a matter of time before Jesus’s story got the Hollywood 300 treatment. After all, the Biblical story has been ripped off by all those other mythical tales—miracles, fights, weather-related phenoms—we’ve seen them all, just not in this exact storyline. As for the story, well, it’s one movie that you know exactly how it will end. You woulda thought that they’d at least try and make Jesus look more like he is described, and not like a hot rock star from the seventies, but okay...
Perfect For: You’re big into Jesus.
What the Critics Say: Bad, and not in a good way. New York Daily News: “He walks on water, heals the sick and raises the dead. But not even Jesus can transform "Son of God" into a compelling epic.”
Our Take: Nope, I’d rather go see Non-Stop while flying.
